2005-06-20

Tom Cruise Assaulted

During a visit to London, Tom Cruise was assaulted by four men who jumped over the barrier during a red-carpet walkabout and began to beat him within inches of his life. Thankfully, LifeFlight was able to get there in time to stop the bleeding and... oh wait. I guess I read that wrong- the assault consisted of a British comedy film crew squirting him with water in the face with a phony microphone. Hmm... they didn't even beat him with the microphone, they just squirted him with water. But thankfully LifeFlight was able to get there just in time with a $500 blue silk towel to dry him off and... oh wait. No emergency vehicles were needed. Except for the police cars that hauled off the four pranksters for assault charges.

Let's get real people. Assault is a VIOLENT CRIME, punishable with JAIL TIME. Do a Google search or go to MSN Video and watch the video. I don't know about you, but I didn't see a crime being committed. A joke? YES. Rude? MAYBE, but to me it seems that Tom is just being a [insert something I don't want to actually say]. A violent crime? ABSOLUTELY NOT. If Tom follows through on these charges, HE is the real jerk for trying to pin CRIMINAL charges on someone for a simple, common prank. Tom was wet for 30 seconds. These crimes could be with these men forever. Crimes like this can destroy your life.

According to Reuters Tom is quoted as saying "I really work hard to make people feel good..." I don't see how, he could have laughed it off- also according to Reuters: "The wife of veteran rocker Ozzy Osbourne turned the tables on the prankster when she hurled a bucket of water over him, the Daily Mirror newspaper reported." At least I know that not all celebrities are [insert something I don't want to actually say]. Then again, maybe she can in turn be charged with aggravated assault because it was an entire bucket of water.

It really shows how far gone we are when it even enters the minds of people to charge someone with a violent crime for a simple prank like this.